With my firstborn, it was a no-brainer.
My mother-in-law offered to help even before we asked. My father-in-law was about to retire, and they were both more than ready — even excited — to care for their first grandchild. We were incredibly lucky. Having them around gave us peace of mind, and gave our daughter lots of love and proper care.
But when it came to my second, the decision was harder.
We were still in the thick of COVID. I was leaning towards grandparent care again — it felt familiar, safe. But by then, they were already helping with another grandchild under 5. They were also getting older, and I didn’t want to assume they’d have the same energy. Eventually, we enrolled him in infant care. It wasn’t easy at first — there were sniffles, tears and lots of adjusting.
We’ve now experienced both paths — and if you’re in the same boat, I hope this breakdown helps you decide what’s best for your family, your baby, and your current season.
Logistics
| Factor | IFC | Grandparents |
| Location | Varies, convenient if it’s of a walking distance from your home, but inconvenient if it’s further and requires you to take public transport. | Varies, convenient if it’s near your house or if the grandparents are able to take care in your own house. Inconvenient if their house is further than the IFC. |
| Drop-off & Pick-up | 7am-7pm; may be a rushed affair before and after work | Flexible, on days you need to work late or enjoy an evening out, it’s negotiable. |
| Closures | Closes for a fixed number of days a year for cleaning, public holidays, teachers’ development courses, etc | Grandparents may fall sick and not be available. |
In our case…
We found that it was much easier when the grandparents are taking care of our firstborn as things were very flexible. We could drop-off and fetch our baby whenever — it just takes a short SMS or phone call to arrange (or rearrange!) timings! We had lesser stress when we had to work late at the last-minute. For our second-born, there were times we needed to reallllyyyyy rush to fetch him before 7pm. *pants*
Cost
| Factor | IFC | Grandparents |
| Monthly Fees | ~$1,000–$2,000 (before subsidies) | Depends on your mutual agreement. You might want to give a monthly allowance (especially if your parent gives up his/her job to do this), and consider topping up for groceries and takeaways. |
| Subsidies | Available via ECDA (working mum required) | Not applicable |
| Add-ons | Cot sets, name labels, more diapers used, additional long-sleeved clothing etc | Annual holiday trips, bigger angbaos, food delivery meals in case the grandparents get tired or unable to cook or pop out to buy food etc. |
In our case…
We were lucky that our parents were quite easygoing — we topped up a little more than their monthly allowance for our first child and focused on paying extras like bigger angbaos, food delivery etc. Our first child also went into playgroup at 18 months, so this was an arrangement that lasted just for around one year plus. For our second, we appreciated the upfront standard cost stated in contract so it was neatly factored into our budget, and paid monthly.
Of course, babies in infant care do tend to fall sick more often — it’s part of building up their immunity. In contrast, staying with grandparents usually means fewer viruses, especially in those early months. But here’s the hidden cost: every cough, fever or HFMD episode could mean taking urgent leave, visiting the doctor or scrambling for backup care. And if your baby misses days at IFC? You’ll still be paying the monthly fees — on top of all those extra costs.
Daily Schedule
| Factor | IFC | Grandparents |
| Routine | Structured — fixed nap times, playtime, feeding schedules | Flexible — may follow baby’s cues or vary day to day |
| Nutrition | Follows centre-approved meal plans (if on solids); parents provide milk | May offer home-cooked food; might include early solids or traditional remedies |
| Learning & Stimulation | Babies enjoy music, group play, sensory trays, books, and developmental routines. | Usually less structured — but includes songs, stories, play and conversation. May include screentime IN SPITE of your protests! |
| LOVE! | Warm and caring teachers — but caregivers may rotate | Tons! Undivided attention and family bonding |
In our case:
For our youngest, we genuinely appreciated the IFC playspace — there were themed corners, storytelling and sensory play. There were also thematic days (like water play!) that he enjoyed when he was older. It felt like a whole new world of childhood fun. But for our firstborn, we just couldn’t stop the grandparents from turning on the TV or showing random videos on their phones. Sometimes it was “just while feeding,” sometimes “just for a little while” — but the screen time crept in, and it was hard to push back without sounding ungrateful.
Food & Nutrition
| Factor | IFC | Grandparents |
| Meals | Centre-approved menus once baby starts solids; balanced and portioned meals | Centre-approved menus once baby starts solids; balanced and portioned meals |
| Milk | Parents provide EBM or formula, which teachers feed according to schedule | May feed more or less than planned; might sneak in more milk to soothe or help baby nap |
| Introduction of Solids | Follows updated weaning guidelines; typically after 6 months | May start solids earlier (“Last time we gave cereal at 4 months!”) |
| Baby-Led Weaning | Some centres are open to it (with prep); usually requires coordination with parents | Often met with confusion or concern (“So messy! Later choke how?”) |
| Parental Involvement | Centres document intake daily via app or log; parents can make requests | Difficult to monitor; even lovingly prepped frozen purées might get rejected (“Cold food no good!”) |
| Cultural Beliefs | Generally neutral; no traditional beliefs influence food choices | Traditional practices may surface — no cold foods, prefer boiled pears, or ru yi oil for digestion, porridge everyday |
In our case…
I wanted to do everything right (or “according to textbooks”) for my firstborn, so I painstakingly prepped frozen purees during weekends. I also thought it would lessen my in-laws’ workload — they just had to heat it up and serve. But, they returned them. “Cold food has no nutrition,” they said. They’d much rather steam pumpkin etc on a daily basis! At IFC, our youngest had more variety — veggie mash, tofu cubes, fruits. It felt more structured, less personal, but more balanced overall.
Health
| Factor | IFC | Grandparents |
| Exposure to Illness | Higher — babies often fall sick more due to group settings and shared spaces | Lower — fewer people around baby = fewer bugs, especially in early months |
| Hygiene Practices | Centres follow strict cleaning routines and handwashing protocols | Varies — depends on individual caregivers, but can be very clean if only one baby is cared for |
| Cleanliness | Shared toys, cots, and surfaces = regular sanitising, but cross-contact still happens | More control — dedicated space, fewer toys, one set of hands |
| Caregiver Training | Staff trained in hygiene, first aid, safe sleep | No formal training — relies on experience and personal habits |
| Parental Downtime | Baby falling sick = urgent leave, MCs, doctor visits, missed workdays | Fewer sick days = more stable routine and less disruption for working parents |
In our case…
It was much better when our firstborn was at her grandparents’ place. She was their only grandchild at the time — and their whole world. They doted on her, watched her like hawks, and were meticulous about keeping her clean and comfortable. No shared toys, no runny noses from other babies, no crowded playmats. She hardly fell sick in those early months, and looking back, it wasn’t just luck — it was how deeply and lovingly her grandparents looked after her, right down to wiping her drool the moment it appeared. Her little brother was less fortunate, and kept falling sick in IFC and his immunity never settled down during this period.
Read more below:
Emotional Bonds
| Factor | IFC | Grandparents |
| Attachment | Builds gradually with caregivers; may rotate or change over time | Strong, consistent bond with familiar family members |
| Attention | Shared among several babies; caring but divided | Usually one-on-one attention; baby is the centre of their world |
| Comfort & Soothing | Teachers follow routines to comfort baby; varies across caregivers | Deeply attuned to baby’s moods and cries; often quicker to respond |
| Emotional Security | Predictable routines help baby settle over time | Familiar home environment and voices = strong sense of safety |
| Cultural Connection | Neutral setting with generalised care | Often rich with family stories, lullabies, dialects, food, and traditions |
In our case…
There were good points in both settings, and we truly appreciated the care our children received in IFC and at home. But with our firstborn, the bond she shared with her grandparents was something special. They were really present — taking her for evening walks downstairs, watching her every expression, responding before she even cried. The home environment felt familiar, cosy, and full of love. For us, that made all the difference.
Parenting Styles
| Factor | IFC | Grandparents |
| Approach to Routines | Structured around centre policy; consistent across staff | May follow instinct or personal experience; routines can vary day to day |
| Feeding & Sleeping | Based on updated guidelines (e.g. safe sleep, milk timing, no walkers) | May use traditional methods (e.g. early solids, ru yi oil, sarong naps) |
| Discipline Style | Gentle, positive reinforcement; teachers trained in group management | More relaxed or old-school; may indulge or override parent-set limits |
| Screen Time | Typically limited or discouraged | May allow more freely (“Just five minutes of video to feed lah”) |
| Communication with Parents | Logs, apps, formal updates on baby’s progress | Informal, verbal |
In our case…
Honestly this was the part we struggled with most — there was more screentime than we were comfortable with, but we didn’t know how to bring it up because they were helping us so much, and maybe it was just really tiring to care for a baby all day. I even tried making frozen purées to help out, hoping we could introduce more variety at the same time, but they returned them, saying cold food had no nutrition — so it was warm porridge every day, just whatever they felt was best. Still, I slowly learnt to manage my expectations, pick my battles, and remind myself they were doing their best out of love — even if it wasn’t always the way I imagined.
Your family, your fit
There’s no perfect answer — just what works best for your family, your baby, and this particular season of life.
Some parents love the structure and stimulation of infant care. Some find deep comfort in the love and familiarity of grandparent care. Some toggle between both — and some change their minds along the way (like us! read more in the link above!).
What also matters — and often gets overlooked — is the grandparents themselves. Their personalities, energy levels, lifestyle, and even expectations. Are they offering help with open arms, or will they feel resentful over time? Are they aligned with your parenting values, or will you constantly be tiptoeing around screen time, feeding routines or nap schedules?
What helped me was learning to let go of a “perfect situation” and focus on what was sustainable. To trust that babies are resilient. That love shows up in many forms — porridge bowls, photo updates, folded laundry and even surprise screen time. And that sometimes, choosing peace for everyone involved is the kindest thing we can do.
Whatever path you take — you’re not alone. And you’re doing your best for your baby.
This Little Season 